1. Ending an Unfulfilling Relationship
Your relationship should be the easiest thing in your life. (Read that again!)
The world is filled with chaos and garbage humans. Your relationship should be the one place of solace and peace you go to escape from all that ugliness of the world. If your partner does not put the needed effort to fulfill you emotionally and physically in the best way they could at all times, ending that relationship is the best thing that could happen to you. Too many people hold on to dead and dry relationships way longer than they should just because they do not want to appear as a failure to an imaginary audience. The truth is, nobody cares! People around you have their own issues to worry about rather than judging you for ending a relationship that never even made you happy.
Once the relationship ends, allow yourself to feel all the pain and grieve for a part of life that’s no longer there. Then, go ahead and explore the wide-open world filled with sunshine and true love and joy awaiting you.
2. Falling Out of a Toxic Friendship
Friendship breakups are the worst. We go into our romantic relationships with the realistic understanding that there is a possibility for things to go south at some point. While we use terms like “together forever” when we date or marry someone, sometimes things just do not work out. And that’s okay! Friendships, on the other hand, are expected to last forever. We rarely ever question our friendships, and we open our entire hearts to a human who we enjoy hanging out with, without any restriction.
People like to overly romanticize the idea of friendships. However, at the end of the day, they are not too different from any other relationship between two humans. Some friendships can be extremely toxic, draining, and manipulative. While it is always a great thing to still be friends with the people who grew up with you, sometimes those friendships can hold you back in many ways as you grow to become a better and more successful person. If you feel like your journey of personal growth is distancing you from your old friends, you need to gently let those friendships grow.
The amazing person you are becoming will cost you friendships, relationships, spaces, and many material possessions that are not very important in the grand scheme of things. Choose that person over everything else, and gently let everything that holds you back go. When toxic friends leave, they are making space for better friends that you meet along the way to your best self. Your tribe is awaiting you, and when you meet them, you will understand why you had to let those unfulfilling friendships go.
3. Losing a Job
I was watching the movie “Up in the Air ” the other day, and a few scenes from that movie really stuck with me. (Watch it if you haven’t. It’s on Netflix and it’s pretty good!) So, in the movie, George Clooney’s character Ryan flies around the country firing people for a living.
At one point, a terminated employee tells him, “I’ve heard that losing your job is like a death in the family”. The fear, uncertainty, and grief that come along with losing your livelihood can be excruciating. You are putting an end to a set of daily habits and close relationships that used to be an ingrained part of your day and who you are as a person for a while. To that, Clooney responds with, “Anybody who ever built an empire or changed the world sat where you are right now. And it’s because they sat there they were able to do it”.
When you lose a job, your first response to it can be extremely visceral—with fear, panic, and anxiety making you feel sick and defeated. However, if you ride this initial wave with calm without letting the fear overcome you, the next step is all about freedom and a world of opportunities ahead of you. With no paycheck to bind you to a dreary 9-5, you now have the freedom of choice. You can reevaluate your priorities and make the kind of changes you always wanted to do. You can leverage your experience and skills to go for a better company, and demand better pay. Most importantly, if you are entrepreneurial, losing a job is often the best motivation to finally start your own business and be who you always wanted to be.
Important: In order to successfully handle an unexpected termination of employment, you need to have a few good general financial habits in place. Read more about 5 Must-Have Personal Finance Habits for 30-Year-Olds here.
4. Moving Away From Your Hometown
Many of us have a warm and cozy little soft spot in our hearts for our hometown—the place we grew up in. It is our comfort zone, with childhood memories and nostalgia painting over even the roughest edges with pretty pastel colors. The time seems to pass slower when you are there, and it feels easier to breathe in those familiar neighborhoods. However, you have to leave your hometown to truly experience the meaning of freedom and opportunities. The world is big with endless possibilities, and the little comfort zone in your hometown is limiting the person you can be, and the places you can go.
There is something extremely beautiful about a new beginning, in a place no one knows you. You are leaving all your mistakes and failures back in your hometown, and moving on with only what you learned from your experiences, hopes for a better future, and love for those who leave behind. With that smart little window to the world in your pocket, you are never too far from your loved ones, even if you move to the other end of the world. Your hometown will always be there if you ever decide to come back. For now, open your wings and fly!
5. Changing Your Personality Due to Personal Growth
Personal growth is a journey, not a destination. There is always room to be a better person. As you walk the path of self-improvement and personal growth, day by day taking small steps to become a better person than you were yesterday, it is inevitable that you change as a person. It is almost like a rebirth, leaving behind your self-sabotaging ways and becoming the best version of yourself. As you improve yourself and become stronger, there is a very personal stage of feeling pain and grief for the weaker yet resilient person you were. You are leaving that person behind with all their quirky defense mechanisms and all the different personalities they adapted to survive in this vicious world.
When you feel that, acknowledge it. Sit there with your old self, and forgive them for all the thorny paths they took that you would never do now, with the wisdom and experience you have now. Sit there and laugh at the silliness, reminiscence the challenges you overcame, and marvel at the courage you had. Then, let that version of yourself go. Walk forward knowing that you are the best you could ever be.